It is said that the journey starts with a single step. I think I am ready to talk about my first step to Cali. I got up Sunday morning, intent on packing the car and getting gone by 9 AM. It didn't go that way. It was hard to focus and think about all that I should take and all that I had to do. This is evident also by how much I forgot to bring with me.
The time that I spent in Texas was special for several reasons. Having lived the most number of years of my life in Texas, it was a sort of homecoming for me. It felt like home and because of that I think I tried harder. Tried harder to accept myself and my faults as well as trust. I got lucky and found a couple of friends that made me feel comfortable. It had been since Germany in high school that I had trusted friends like this.
I wanted to stay in Texas. But life calls us in different directions. I was called West. I know I have been called here and to go down this path. This doesn't make it any easier. It is noon. I am standing in the garage that Sunday. The car is packed and ready to go and my shoes feel like cement bricks. I don't want to leave but I know I must. I cried for the first time in many years. Leaving doesn't mean that friendship is lost. It just means that I can't call Jens up on Thursday night and say, "how about Saturday, we riding?" or hang out watching football or playing cards. Or complain to Mark about the unethical actions of our boss or talk smack about whatever. Or all of the other things that made it all work and brought a lot of happiness. Even now, after over a week in Cali, I miss the Lone Star State. I miss the interaction with my friends. August will come but maybe not soon enough!
Keep riding or suffer the pain!
1 comment:
It's worth it. It takes some huevos rancheros to make a move like that and you did it. You are all about determination and have a great family and friends that support you....
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